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(Jim Schwall) Performed by: Jim Schwall - guitar, bass, vocal / Dan Smrz - drums

lyrics

I went out for the evenin with a pocket full of pot
It was just a baggie full, really not a lot
I wasn’t sellin nothin, just lookin for some fun
And that was when I saw him with his badge and his gun
I stuffed that pot in my mouth and I began to chew
I had nothin to wash it down, so it was hard to do
I think I had it almost gone, though my teeth were green
And that was when it hit me, that man, tonight is Halloween

Well he weren’t no cop, it was just a costume
Well there were pirates and spooks and ghosts all around the barroom
I got a little paranoid and I ate all that pot
I didn’t check my calendar and I just plain forgot

The fishnet stockings caught my eye, she was quite a looker
She had those stripper platform shoes, had to be a hooker
She had quite a figure, man, if that was all really hers
Kinda hard to tell, underneath all them fake furs
I went up and offered her a drink
And then I killed a little time with small talk, said, “Is that really mink?”
Well then I told her what I wanted and I offered fifty bucks
She spit her drink out on my shirt and kicked me in the nuts
(stop)

She ain’t no hooker, you know that’s just a costume
Well there were nurses and freaks and geeks all around the barroom
Well I was kinda lonely and I didn’t use my head
It looks like this Halloween will not end up in bed

My balls were really hurin, and I went to the E.R.
I had to wait for hours and then I peed in a jar
Back out in the waiting room with an old Newsweek
Finally saw a doctor who said let me have a peek
When he touched my nuts I couldn’t help but squeal
Aw, he said there’s nothin broke, friend, nothin that won’t heal
I met a friendly priest, and I told him my sad tale
He said come with me boy, I’m taking you to jail (stop)

He weren’t no priest, yeah it was just a costume
I wish the hell I’d never gone down to that bar room
I confessed to a priest who turned out to be a cop
Told him about soliciting and, and eating all that pot
I didn’t check my calendar and you know I just plain forgot

credits

from Dark Songs Vol. 6, released October 30, 2015

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Holiday Music Motel Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin

A 1952 motel taken over by musicians in 2007 for the purpose of creating and hosting collaborative songwriting events, The Holiday Music Motel is the world's only motel with its own internet radio station that plays 100% self-generated content 24/7.

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